


slow dancing in the dark

by koistaryu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, I love them so much, I'm crying again, M/M, Pining, also i'm bending canon, also iwa says the fuck word, honestly i love writing for pining i can't write anything but pining, i might write another one but w a different ship too we'll see, i want an awkward school dance okay let me have this, i was gonna write a fic about it at one point or another, i'm in fucking love with this song okay, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24289789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koistaryu/pseuds/koistaryu
Summary: [iwaizumi hajime x oikawa tooru]It crushes his heart a little to think about, but Iwaizumi loves him. And always will. Even though he’ll never love him back in the same way.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 20
Kudos: 77





	1. give me reasons we should be complete

“Come on, Trashykawa,” Iwaizumi practically snarled, dragging his best friend away from the throng of fangirls outside their gym. “We have practice to get to.”

It was always like that. In fact, it was practically routine at this point. Sometimes Iwaizumi felt more like a babysitter than anything else for all the volleyball players, particularly his best friend. He was used to it though, and as much as it still grated on his nerves, he found that he didn’t really mind sometimes. They had grown up after all, and even if Oikawa was probably the dumbest person on the planet, Iwaizumi didn’t trust anyone more. 

His stupid ass best friend had always been a looker, or so he’s been told. Oikawa always looked like, well, Oikawa. Apparently he had gotten prettier somewhere between elementary school and junior high, but Iwaizumi never saw the difference. He had spent so much time around the dumbass that he had barely noticed he had changed over the years. It was a bit like looking in the mirror. In the same way he never really noticed how he himself had changed over the years, it wasn’t until high school that he realized Oikawa had somehow grown taller than him, a fact he was still slightly bitter about. 

A number of things had changed over the years, though. Oikawa became a prolific dater, while Iwaizumi couldn’t name a single girl he felt romantically attracted to. He’d stuck around his friend season after season, through volleyball tournaments and breakups. Because even as seasons changed and time went on, some things were always the same. It was always going to be Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime, and the sport they both fell in love with. 

There was a reason why Oikawa always, _always_ tossed to him whenever they were in a pinch during a match. Nobody knew Oikawa better than Iwaizumi, and nobody knew Iwaizumi better than Oikawa. Their mothers had once joked that they could probably read each other's minds with how well they knew each other, and Iwaizumi sincerely hoped not. 

He would probably die of embarrassment if Oikawa could hear his thoughts. 

“Come on, Iwa-chan,” the setter whined, detaching himself from his friend’s grasp. “Just because you don’t know how to talk to girls doesn’t mean I can’t.” 

“The fuck did you just say?!” he seethed, launching the volleyball tucked under his arm at the back of his friend’s head.

“Ow! You’re so mean to me, Iwa-chan!” 

“Dumbass. Guys that girls squeal over piss me off.” 

“You’ve said that to me before,” his friend practically sang. “It’s okay, Iwa-chan. Not everybody—”

Fixing his friend with the most chilling glare he can muster up, he turned away in satisfaction as soon as the setter shut up. As much as Oikawa was a massive pain in the ass, he was still his best friend, through and through. 

_His best friend who he was in love with,_ a small part of him added. _His best friend who also had a girlfriend. His best friend who would never love him back._

Iwaizumi grit his teeth, trying to bat those thoughts out of his head. It was stupid and pointless. It was always pointless in wanting things he could never have, and as much as he knew it was probably best that he get over his stupid feelings now to save from the hurt later on, he just couldn’t seem to shake it. It felt a bit like his life revolved around his best friend and volleyball. It wasn’t like he had much to do outside of those two things anyways. Oikawa was a permanent fixture in his life, and as much as he yelled at him, he wouldn’t give it for anything in the world. Even if it meant he felt like clawing out his own heart whenever his best friend got another girlfriend. 

Seeing his dumbass friend with all his fangirls made his heart clench so hard it hurt sometimes, though Iwaizumi would sooner cut off his own leg than admit that to anyone. 

It hurt to be in love with your best friend, and see him chase after just about everyone but _you_. It felt like there was a jagged rip in his heart that was only filled with stolen moments of tenderness; when his best friend fell asleep against his shoulder on the way back from a game, whenever the two of them went out for dinner together, or that one New Year’s Eve Iwaizumi thought about kissing the boy for the first time. 

He sighed, shaking his head to himself, stretching his tense muscles. Volleyball was good at taking his mind off these kinds of things. Sometimes he was too busy being annoyed at Oikawa to remember that he was in love with him, and Iwaizumi preferred things that way. 

Realizing that he had liked his best friend felt a bit like suddenly getting dunked into a basin of cold water. It was jarring each and every time he realized it, even though he had come to that conclusion months ago. It took him a while to reach that conclusion, and though he was no longer in denial about his stupid feelings, Iwaizumi was still quite sure that this revelation was something he was going to be taking to the grave. 

He hated it. He hated the way his best friend made him feel. He hated how he had already broken his heart, even though Iwaizumi had never opened up to anyone about his feelings for his best friend. He hated how he had memorized every little detail about his best friend, whether that was his breathing pattern whenever he was asleep or the way he tied his shoelaces. (Oikawa called them bunny ears. Iwaizumi called them stupid and time consuming.)

Perhaps he was being dramatic, but each time he looked over at Oikawa, it felt like someone was turning a dagger deeper into his heart. But he just couldn’t look away, even if it felt like it was killing him inside. Even now, he couldn’t help the way his eyes nearly automatically slid over to search for his best friend through the blue and white blur of his teammates. 

“You look like you’re constipated,” Oikawa started, voice lofty as usual. “What’s got you pissed off again?” 

“You,” his reply was automatic. “It’s always you.” _In more ways than you’ll ever know, Oikawa._ “I swear I lose brain cells each time you open your mouth.” 

“It’s not like you had any to begin with,” Hanamaki piped up, bending down to tie his shoelaces. 

Iwaizumi could feel the vein in his temple throb. Resisting the urge to kick his friend over from the position he was currently crouched in, he sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose in an effort to soothe his nerves. “Shut the fuck up.” 

“Say, Iwa-chan, have you found a date for the school dance yet?” the setter piped up.

Oh. Right.

Iwaizumi almost forgot about that. He wasn’t planning on going to it in the first place, though he knew he was probably going to get dragged to the function by Oikawa. As much as he wasn’t looking to be the third wheel between Oikawa and his girlfriend—what was her name again?—he had always found it hard to say no to his friend. 

“Do I look like?” he asked flatly, ignoring the twinge in his heart. “There’s no way I’m going.” 

“Come on. You’re no fun,” Oikawa whined, leaning against him good naturedly. His skin felt hot under his touch, but Iwaizumi was careful not to react. “It’s our last year at Seijoh and we might as well enjoy our teenage years while we still can, yeah?”

He hoped his face didn’t look as anguished as he felt inside. “Sounds like a waste of time.” 

“It’ll be fun!” Matsukawa insisted, bouncing a volleyball lightly. “We can all go together, and it won’t even matter that you’ll never get a date.” 

Normally, Iwaizumi would put up more of a fight. Spit some more insults and protest loud against his friends dragging him to any social function. As much as he would rather spend his Saturday night sitting on his bedroom floor watching volleyball highlights with his teammates, a night out wouldn’t hurt. Maybe he’d finally fucking get over his feelings for his best friend. 

He was sure he would follow his friend to the edge of the world, so another simple school dance was nothing. Even if it meant driving the knife deeper into his heart, he’d do it. He’d yank his heart out of his chest for him, even if Oikawa wouldn’t do the same for him. Iwaizumi didn’t mind. Even though they had always been equals, he knew that Oikawa was a star among them, something too far out of reach for him, even if they were best friends. 

It crushes his heart a little to think about, but Iwaizumi loves him. And always will. Even though he’ll never love him back in the same way.

“I’ll think about it,” he finally replied, turning to join the rest of his teammates who were already beginning to do their laps around the gym. The sooner practice could get started, the sooner Iwaizumi could forget about the way his best friend’s smile made his heart jump.

Fucking Shittykawa. 

Iwaizumi hated him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys enjoyed this, let me know what you think! updates might be a little slow but they'll definitely be coming haha


	2. can't you see?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more angst and pining, iwa wants to cry, i want to cry too

He gave in. Of course he gave in. He could hardly remember the last time he hadn’t given into another one of Oikawa’s stupid ass requests. It was too late to back out now though, the event was the very next day

But part of Iwaizumi was almost looking forward to the event as well. It wasn’t like he went out very much, so it would be a nice change of pace. In all honesty, the large crowds of annoying high schoolers didn’t really appeal to him, but spending some more time with his friends and teammates was always fun. And know the dumbasses he spent his time with, it would definitely be an interesting night.

The entire school had been buzzing with the upcoming event, and it seemed that the love letters appearing in Oikawa’s locker had increased tenfold as well, much to the wing spiker’s annoyance. The setter already had a girlfriend, he wasn’t sure why so many other girls still thought they had a chance with him. 

Even he had received a letter, though he had thrown it out without opening it. Iwaizumi wasn’t looking to go to the dance with anyone but his friends. Besides, the only person he had his eye on was someone he could never have. He was definitely just as bad as those fangirls, really. Clinging onto that piece of hope that Oikawa might just fucking look at him, _really_ look at him for once. 

Other than that, the day was rather uneventful. Though Oikawa had seemed particularly on edge that day, always a bit more tense and jumpy than usual. Hanamaki told him it was because the math test scores had just been posted, and that was enough to make Iwaizumi feel a little sick as well. He passed though, just barely. 

But by the time the day was over with and practice had drawn to a close as well, he was sure he was too drained to think about anything. Hopefully tonight he’d fall asleep as soon as he hit his bed, without having to spend hours agonizing over his feelings for his friend while he stared restlessly at his bedroom ceiling. 

Taking a deep swig from his water bottle, he relished in the cool relief it brought him for a moment. The gym was silent, everyone having gone home except for him and Oikawa. This was routine, too. More often than not, he and Oikawa always stayed behind, sometimes joined by Hanamaki and Matsukawa. 

But it was just the two of them today, and the gym was almost uncharacteristically quiet. 

Stopping for a moment, Iwaizumi watched as the setter prepared for another one of his monster jump serves. He had seen the movements hundreds of thousands of times at this point, and just like literally anything else the setter did, he had committed it to memory. Every single time Iwaizumi closed his eyes, he could see the setter moving in vivid detail. From the way his mouth quirked up into a smile, to the number of breaths he took before a serve. 

Maybe it was creepy, but the wing spiker was beyond caring. If he couldn’t have Oikawa, he could at least have the memory of him, the memories that had him agonize over every little interaction they had late into the hours of night. Maybe he was a sadist. After all, his brain seemed to _love_ to torture him with what if’s and other, quite frankly, outlandish hypotheticals. 

Iwaizumi sighed quietly to himself. He was doing that a lot lately, especially around his best friend. 

Oikawa bounced the ball one last time against the gym floor, the sound rattling making Iwaizumi shiver a little. He watched as the muscles in his calves tense for a second, and he knew what was coming. 

Whenever Oikawa made one of his jump serves, it felt like the entire world stopped for a couple seconds. It was nothing new, yet once he had perfected it, there was still something jarring about the power behind it, and the grace of the person guiding the ball through the air. Oikawa Tooru was a person of deft movements and grace, and if you ever asked him who he thought was the most beautiful person in the world, Iwaizumi could tell you in a heartbeat. Maybe it was really fucking cheesy, but it was true. No one moved the same way Oikawa did, and no one made him want to tear his heart straight out of his chest and offer it up like the stupid brunette setter did. 

And his jump serve; Iwaizumi knew the movements like the back of his goddamn hand.

 _Deep breath, pause. His left hand will toss the ball up, and he’ll step forward with his right foot first. He guides his left hand with his right, before sending the ball crashing to the other side of the court. He’ll land deftly with both feet. With the right lighting, the setter looked like he could have sprouted wings in those few seconds. Then a short breath, a pause, and he’ll scrutinize his serve. Depending on how well he thinks he did, there will either be no change to his expression, or he’ll grimace a little, just barely noticeable._

But Iwaizumi noticed. He always did. 

The moment the ball hit the floor with a deafening slam, the moment was over. It never failed to make the wind fly out of his chest, though Iwaizumi wasn’t quite sure whether it was the look of concentration on Oikawa’s face, or the serve itself. Perhaps it was a bit of both. 

The look on Oikawa’s face today was a mix between annoyance and frustration. Iwaizumi thought that the serve was powerful, and something to be proud of. The setter though, never seemed to be fully satisfied with it. No matter how hard he pushed himself, he never seemed fully satisfied with his serves. He could almost see the glint of insecurity in his eyes, no doubt comparing himself to the performance of others again. 

As much shit he gave his best friend, Iwaizumi could confidently say that Oikawa Tooru was one of the best setters in the nation. Maybe he was biased in saying so, but people like himself and Oikawa weren’t born with the talents people like Ushijima and Kageyama were born with. Instead, people like them worked hard, worked until they could barely feel their arms anymore, just to have a fighting chance to stand on the same stage as the natural born stars. 

He would never call himself or his setter talented. The word felt more like an insult than anything, because Oikawa wasn’t naturally apt at his jump serves, and Iwaizumi wasn’t born with his spiking abilities. 

It was only after they had poured their soul into the goddamn sport that they were able to achieve what they had today. And Oikawa understood that. It was why he had poured himself into practice, why he had worked so hard that he had injured himself before. It was another thing Iwaizumi hated about his best friend. 

He wished Oikawa could see himself the way he saw him.

“Nice one,” he called, beginning to collect the volleyballs that were strewn across the court. “I think we should call it a day.” 

“Just a little longer,” his friend replied with a sigh, pacing back and forth on the other side of the gym. 

Iwaizumi stopped short. “No, that’s enough for today. No point in overworking yourself.” 

“Just one more serve.” 

He shook his head. “There’s always tomorrow, Oikawa.” 

“You’re not my mom, Iwa-chan,” he replied, though he began reluctantly complying. 

Oikawa sighed, before helping him collect the volleyballs. They worked quietly for a moment, before the setter stopped for a moment, arms bracing the sides of the volleyball cart. Iwaizumi dumped an armful of volleyballs into the cart, giving his friend an expectant look. 

“I never told you this, but my girlfriend broke up with me last week,” he grimaced. “Embarrassing, I know, but you’re not allowed to make fun of me.” 

Iwaizumi snorted, trying to ignore the sudden flutter of hope dancing in his chest. “Since when was I not allowed to make fun of you, Assykawa?” 

He hummed, pretending not to hear him. “Anyways, she said it was because I spend all my time playing volleyball. And all I talk about is volleyball and you. So yeah.” 

“Does that mean I won’t be third-wheeling then?” 

“Wh— you’re supposed to tell me how she’s wrong! How I have a life outside of volleyball. Way to be supportive after your best friend got dumped.” 

“You said it happened a week ago. If you were even a little bit torn up about it, I think I would’ve noticed it,” he replied dryly. “Besides, I think she’s right. Volleyball really is all you talk about.” 

“That’s not true!” 

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “So I’m taking that you don’t have a date anymore?” 

“Don't sound so gleeful! And as a matter of fact, I do,” he replied almost haughtily. 

“You just got broken up with, shouldn’t you like, give it some time?”

“Since when did you care about my dating habits, Iwa-chan?” 

“I don’t.” _A lie._ “I just think that’s a bit tacky.”

“I don’t see why you should care. You didn’t before. Say, are you jealous, Iwa-chan?” 

Of course he was fucking jealous. It was almost as if Oikawa was purposefully poking at his buttons this time around, even if he didn’t know about his true feelings. 

Not for the first time in his life, Oikawa Tooru had gone and stomped all over this heart again. Iwaizumi wanted to scream at his friend, to take him by the shoulders and tell him how seeing him hop from girl to girl was killing him inside, and he wasn’t sure how long he could bear it anymore. Hell, he was sure he was on his last straw now. He wanted to smack the stupid smile right off of his friend’s face. 

“Of course I am,” he snapped, regretting it almost immediately as Oikawa’s playful look dropped. “No one wants to watch their best friend have fun without them. Even though your ex says you spend way too much time with us and volleyball, it feels like you don’t spend nearly enough time with us.”

Oikawa frowned. “But I see you guys every day! What’s wrong with spending a single night with some girl?” 

Iwaizumi knew he was being unfair, and probably a little selfish too. It was true, he did see him every day, but it just wasn’t the same thing as hanging around your friend at a social event. They didn’t go out that often anyways, never mind semi-formal school functions. A part of Iwaizumi just wanted one night, one night to pretend that Oikawa could be his. It was also more of a personal gripe as well; he wasn’t sure he could handle it if he had to watch his best friend dance with someone else, while he was left silently wishing he wasn’t such a coward. 

Maybe in a different lifetime, he could tell Oikawa the way he felt about him, and maybe, just _maybe_ that feeling could be reciprocated as well. 

“Some girl that you don’t even like,” Iwaizumi replied, exasperated. “You’re the one dragging me to this shit anyways.” 

“You could’ve said no!” Oikawa exclaimed. “I think you’re making a big deal out of nothing? It doesn’t even matter that much.” 

“Is it so much for someone to ask that their best friend gives them some fucking attention?” 

“I’ll still be there, it’s not like I’m ditching you guys!”

“But it’s not the same! What are we supposed to do, watch on the sidelines?”

“What’s gotten into you? I thought you didn’t care!” 

“I care more about you than you fucking think, dumbass! After all this time, how have you not fucking noticed?” Iwaizumi was shouting and he hardly realized it. His face was burning and his breathing was growing ragged, and he tried to calm himself down, taking in a deep breath. His chest felt like it was about to burst, his feelings threatening to spill out of him like a goddamn waterfall and he’d be powerless to stop it.

A beat of tense silence passed between them, and Iwaizumi blinked hard, praying that the tears burning the back of his eyes wouldn’t fall. His heart thudded painfully in his chest, the anguish washing over him in waves. 

“Noticed what?” Oikawa asked softly, reaching for Iwaizumi’s hand. 

“Nothing,” he replied stiffly, jerking away from him. If Oikawa touched him, he would certainly melt into a puddle on the ground. “Never mind what I said. You’re right, it doesn’t matter. You can do what you want.”

“Iwa-chan, wait—”

He didn’t wait. Scooping up his belongings, he ducked out of the gym as quickly as possible, scrambling to get to the club room for the rest of his stuff. Oikawa didn’t follow, and Iwaizumi was thankful he didn’t. He couldn’t handle it anymore. He had already given up too many of his forbidden emotions, and he was sure he was going to crack if he had to spend another second around his friend. 

Angry tears threatened to spill out of his eyes, and he dragged the back of his hand over his face roughly, willing his emotions to go back into the box he thought he had locked them in. 

It was stupid and he was overreacting, but it still hurt. It was a stupid argument, but they were both equally as stubborn, and Iwaizumi had half a mind to skip out on the dance the next day, to just stay home and play video games or something instead. It would be a lot more bearable than having to see Oikawa with someone else, anyway. 

And for the first time since he had met Oikawa, Iwaizumi walked home alone that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the Suffering TM just never ends huh


	3. i don't wanna slow dance, in the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He looked beautiful, his mind whispered. And he was. Oikawa Tooru was the prettiest heartbreak that ever walked.

Ignoring Oikawa was hard. Even though he hadn’t spoken to his friend for a mere day, it was probably the longest they had gone without speaking. Whether that was hanging out literally every single day, or sending each other stupid text messages, Oikawa had always found a way to annoy him. And as much as Iwaizumi hated to admit, he missed it. He missed all the goofy texts and stupid video calls, as much as he used to insist that it irritated him to no end. 

It wasn’t like Oikawa hadn’t tried to contact him either. Because he had, and Iwaizumi had swiped away each of his text messages without bothering to open them. He wasn’t sure he had the courage to. 

He had spent the past day agonizing over every single interaction they’ve ever had, wondering where things changed, where his feelings for his friend became less friendly. He knew he was picking at his own wounds at this point, but having feelings for his best friend in the first place was already torture. 

He supposed it was his curse. Perhaps he had wronged someone in a past life, and he was cursed to fall in love with his best friend, his best friend who would never love him back. If they did exist in a previous life though, Iwaizumi was sure he would always find Oikawa. And each time, in each different scenario, he was sure he would end up falling in love with him too, shedding tears and wasting away over a one-sided love. 

But sometimes he couldn’t help but wish he’d never formed those feelings. It would make life a whole lot easier for him, and his heart wouldn’t break a little each time he saw him. It wasn’t that he wanted Oikawa out of his life completely. As a matter of fact, Iwaizumi couldn’t imagine a life without his best friend. Even though spending so much time around him made the gap in his heart grow wider, he knew he didn’t mind. He had almost grown numb to that pain, and as sappy as it was, he would be happy as long as his best friend was happy, even if it tore him apart inside. 

If soulmates were real, Oikawa would be his. He could feel through another universe and each and every time, he could see himself offering up his heart and his soul to the boy. Even if he wasn’t Oikawa’s soulmate, he would still love them nonetheless, because he would always, _always_ go seeking the other boy out.

He was almost hopelessly addicted to Oikawa Tooru. Sometimes it felt like he had spent his entire life chasing after the brown-haired boy, reaching for a star that was just out of his grasp. 

But as much as he had been avoiding his friend, Iwaizumi knew he would have to confront him eventually. Oikawa always had a way of worming back into his life. And as much as he would like to skip out on the event, he couldn’t bring himself to. He had already agreed to Matsukawa and Hanamaki, and even though things were a bit rocky with Oikawa, it didn’t mean he couldn’t have a good time with the rest of his friends. 

It was about time he got over himself anyways. 

With a sigh, he gave himself one last glance in the mirror. He hadn’t worn formal wear in a while. A simple black button-up and black jeans completed his look, and he knew it was a bit underwhelming. It was pretty casual, though Iwaizumi didn’t particularly care. Even though a tiny part of him hoped that Oikawa might finally see something in him, he knew he was just giving himself false hope. It wasn’t like his best friend even liked boys in the first place. 

“I’m heading out,” he called to his parents, slipping his phone into his pocket. 

“Have a good one!”

“I’ll try.”

With a sigh, he traced the steps he usually took to school, hands stuffed deep into his pockets. He was supposed to walk to the school with Oikawa. He was supposed to go over to his house two hours beforehand too. Not that that was going to be happening again with the recent developments. 

The walk to school was short, and as much as iwaizumi tried not to think about him, it was still hard to chase the image of the setter’s stupid smile out of his head. 

By the time he arrived though, the line to enter the dance was short. He had purposely aimed to arrive a little bit later, trying to avoid both waiting in line and having to confront his friend. His palms were sweating a little just thinking about it. 

The student council did a pretty good job at redecorating the gym. Fairy lights were strung across the walls, streamers and banners hung along the railings as well. The music that was currently playing was something that he couldn’t recognize, and he supposed it was catchy enough for a school dance anyways. 

Just as he was about to pull his phone out and ask his friends about their whereabouts, a hand landing on his shoulder made him jump a little. 

“There you are,” Matsukawa grinned at him, raising his voice so he could be heard over the music. Hanamaki was right behind him, both in white button ups with a black bowtie. “We thought you weren’t going to show up.” 

Iwaizumi snorted. “If I didn’t, you guys would skin me alive.” 

He paused for a moment, eyes roving over the crowd, scanning for a glimpse of his best friend. He couldn’t help it. Everywhere they went, he was always looking for the setter. 

_Bad habit._

“He’s been waiting for you,” Hanamaki piped up knowingly. “He’s always been waiting for you.”

Iwaizumi frowned. It certainly didn’t feel that way. If anything, it felt like he was always waiting on Oikawa to finally catch a hint. It wasn’t like he was being the most obvious about his feelings, but he was sure he hadn’t exactly been subtle either. 

“Is he—” he paused, clearing his throat. “Is he here? With someone?”

“Well,” Matsukawa started, leaning his head to the side. Iwaizumi followed his gaze, feeling his heart plummet again. “W-Wait, it’s not like—”

Whatever his friend was trying to explain to him, Iwaizumi couldn’t hear anymore. His best friend—his best friend who he was irrevocably, and rather unfortunately, _madly_ in love with, because he was sure at this point his feelings bordered on feverish—was of course there with someone else. Oikawa and the girl in his arms were close, closer than Iwaizumi could ever dream of being with him. 

His heart ached with the wanting of it. The wanting of something that was impossible, not to mention the burn of jealousy and heartache that would no doubt kill him one day. But it wasn’t like he could blame him anyways. He was warned of this, but that didn’t help the way his heart ached. 

The moment his friend’s honey brown eyes slid over to meet his, Iwaizumi knew it was all over. His feelings wouldn’t change overnight, and with the way his heart had practically leapt into his throat, it was obvious nothing had changed. His friend looked _good_. White button up fitted perfectly, which seemed to show every curve of muscle that their school uniform usually hid. 

He swallowed hard, tearing his eyes away. Suddenly, it felt like the room was closing in on him, and he was suffocating under Oikawa’s heated gaze. There were too many people, too many noises, and he was all too aware of the heat under his collar. 

“I need some air,” he muttered quickly, stepping around the throng of people to get to the back door. 

“But you just got here—” Hanamaki’s words were swallowed up by the noise of the crowd and the music thrumming through the gym. 

As soon as he slipped outside, he welcomed the cool air blowing against his face. It was quieter, though he could still hear the faint songs of music in the background. Sighing, Iwaizumi loosened his tie a little, sighing deeply. He had no one to blame but himself. He was basically asking for his heart to be shattered this time around, and he should’ve accepted the fact that oikawa was never going to love him a long time ago. 

And yet, he still clung to that piece of hope. 

Hoped and prayed to whatever god that was listening to spare his already tattered heart. 

Sometimes it was easy to trick himself into thinking that Oikawa might’ve liked him back. The way he looked at him on late nights, the streetlights illuminating his features _just so_. The way he leaned his head against his shoulders on the bus ride home from away games. The way his hand lingered just a beat longer on his shoulder after another victory. 

Iwaizumi almost laughed, instead dejectedly kicking a rock at the side of the building instead. The other boy would never realize it, but it was tiny things like that, that drove him up the wall. Otherwise innocent gestures that made his heart pound. 

“Iwaizumi?” Oikawa’s voice jolted him out of his pity party. 

He turned to face the boy stiffly, discreetly stuffing his sweaty palms into his pockets. The light streaming behind him from through the door made him look ethereal, the flickering light casting a halo around his brown hair. _He looked beautiful,_ his mind whispered. And he was. Oikawa Tooru was the prettiest heartbreak that ever walked. He was still smiling his usual carefree smile, though there was something a little hesitant about his movements. 

“Shouldn’t you be inside with everyone else?” Iwaizumi asked, before swallowing hard. _With your date?_ he wanted to add. But he didn’t.

“Shouldn’t you?” he echoed back, shuffling closer to him. Iwaizumi couldn’t look him in the eye, instead fixing his stare at the streetlamp in the distance. The back of his eyes burned with tears threatening to fall. He hoped the other boy couldn’t hear his heart crack.

There was another beat of tense silence, and Iwaizumi could hear the boy inch closer to him. 

“Are you okay?” Oikawa asked. 

_No, no he fucking wasn’t._ The first tears began to slip. If OIkawa noticed, he didn’t say anything, only humming in quiet understanding. 

“Iwa-chan,” he spoke up softly, laying a hand on his shoulder. “Dance with me.” 

Iwaizumi bit down hard on his lip, blinking hard through the blur of tears. He was close enough that he could smell the cologne his friend wore, close enough to feel the heat rolling off his body. He wanted to refuse. He wished he was better at refusing Oikawa. But despite the tears rolling silently down his face, he found himself wanted to accept anyways. 

“There’s no music, dumbass.” His voice broke a little, emotion spilling over into his words. 

“We don’t need music,” Oikawa hummed, slipping his hand into his friend’s. With his other, he guided it to his shoulder. 

“But, I don’t know how to dance.” Iwaizumi wasn’t sure why he was still protesting even though Oikawa had already won him over. 

“Just follow my movements.” 

So he did, letting Oikawa guide him slightly. Perhaps it was slightly odd for an outsider to see two teenage boys swaying quietly in the darkness, but Iwaizumi was sure this was the most romantic goddamn moment of his life. It was probably the closest they had ever been, something like this Iwaizumi almost didn’t dare to even dream about. Yet here he was, almost nose to nose with the boy he had been pining after for nearly a year. He hoped he couldn’t feel the way his heart was threatening to beat out of his chest, or how clammy his hands were. 

He had thought about telling Oikawa about his feelings about a million times over, and had run through the different outcomes of rejection until it made him feel like clawing out his own heart. The best case scenario was when Oikawa politely turned down his confession, the worst case was when his friend scrambled at him and hated him, before never speaking to him ever again. 

_“I never want to speak to you again,”_ he imagined the boy yelling at him. He wasn’t sure he had ever heard Oikawa yell at him with such malice before, but there was a first for everything. 

This was a first, too. 

The two of them, slow dancing under the dim light of a lamp, so close Iwaizumi could see the flecks of gold in his best friend’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry for what I said yesterday,” Oikawa began, eyes boring straight into his soul. “But I just thought provoking you like that would finally make you realize. It was stupid. But I guess we’re both a little stupid.” 

“Realize?” 

“I’ve been waiting for you to realize for _years_ , Iwa-chan. I tried to move on, but it feels like I’m just running in circles at this point. ‘Cause it’ll always be you. Even Makki and Matssun noticed, you know.”

Iwaizumi blinked, trying desperately to process Oikawa’s words. What did he mean? What was he doing? He jolted slightly when the boy before him brushed his thumb against his cheekbone, brushing away the tear. As close as they were, he still hoped the darkness hid the heat crawling onto his face. 

“Can’t you see?” Oikawa peered at him closely, searching for something. It didn’t seem that he found what he was searching for, because he sighed, before leaning closer, head resting on his shoulder. 

Iwaizumi felt a little light headed. They had stopped moving, and Oikawa had snaked his arms around his neck. His hair tickled the side of his face, and if the boy hadn’t heard the way his heart was pounding earlier, he could surely hear it now. 

“Oikawa?” he asked, tentatively, wrapping one arm around the boy’s waist, the other resting against his back. 

“I’m in love with you, Iwaizumi,” his lips brushed against the shell of his ear, and Iwaizumi’s heart stopped in his chest. 

He could hardly believe it. It had to be some sort of joke, right? There was no way Oikawa liked him back, no way his friend had liked him for what seemed like years, too. 

He blinked, and swallowed roughly. “W-What?” 

“I’m in love with you,” he repeated with a sigh. Iwaizumi could feel the breath on the side of his neck. “I don’t know who’s more stupid here, me for falling in love with you in the first place, or you for never realizing it.” 

Oikawa pulled away for a moment, and Iwaizumi almost immediately missed his heat. 

“Tell me you feel the same,” Oikawa almost pleaded, eyes glassy with emotion. “Or tell me that you hate me.”

For a moment, Iwaizumi searched wildly in his best friend’s eyes for any sliver of deceit. Maybe it was all a sick and twisted joke, designed to destroy his heart once and for all. But there was nothing but sincerity in his friend’s chocolate eyes. 

In a moment of boldness, he cupped his Oikawa’s face in his hands, mouth moving tentatively against his. Almost immediately, Oikawa responded, pressing his entire body into him, lips soft and warm against his. He tasted sweet, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Warm and soft and dizzyingly addicting. 

“I love you too,” Iwaizumi replied between breaths. “I’ve always loved you.” 

His heart was breaking, but for another reason this time. His heart broke with the emotion, the feeling he had for his best friend. His heart swelled and nearly burst with the knowledge that Oikawa was here and in his arms, that it was his lips moving against his, that it was the smell of _him_ that enveloped him in that moment. 

Iwaizumi loved him, and Oikawa loved him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and the series is done! i hope you guys enjoyed it, and thank you for sticking with me <3 
> 
> i cried while writing this last part, but please let me know what you guys think, i have a bunch of fics that i've been planning on writing in the future hehe. as always, you can find me on tumblr @koistaryu, and thank you all again for your time!


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